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LIFE'S QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
(With Howard "The Not so Wise" and "The Brain")
Howard: Well Ber-ain we have sum mo-are stay-upid questions this month from our ray-ders.
Brain: Howard - how can you unequivocally call all our readers questions stupid. Your idea of an intelligent question is "Where is the best all you can eat "Hog Trough" eating establishment?", or "Where is the best bar where the pretty ladies hang out?"
Howard: "That's a-right Ber-ain. Thoes are gree-ate questions - wishin I had thunk of 'um!" Shooot Ber-ain- look some mo-ron asks about makin a map for moles- Heck -everyone nos mo-oles live under ground and can't read no dad burn map. This guy is stayu-pid - Har! Har!
Brain: "Howard- I can not believe your total lack of understanding!"
Howard: "Tha-nn hars some du-fus puttin tadpoles up has nose and wunders why he cant bur-eathe!"
Brain: "I don't believe you Howard! How do your mental facilities function? That sounds like something that someone with a 6th grade education would say!"
Howard: "Thunk yee for the ku-ind words - I-is only made it threw du thurd grade, butt mee pappy says I was always re-al smurt fur my age!"
Brain: "I suspected as much!"
Howard: "Luk at this bow-see-fus mo-ron - wantin to no what sun glasses wa-ill protect has ayes frum the sun- hay-ect jus donts luk unto the sun -that's huw my stu-pid cusin Jethro went blind!"
Brain: "Howard I certainly hope you are done insulting our audience!"
Howard: "Glued to do it - I um happy to brung the salt- sum one will nu-eed it to salt du poork aat du barb-u-q!"
Q I have several moles over my body and am aware that they can show indications of skin cancer. What can I look for and is having the moles mapped" a good idea?
A Moles are usually harmless. However abnormal moles develop on about 8 percent of Caucasians. These moles are identified by their asymmetrical shape , irregular borders, multiple colors or large size. There are several factors that can contribute to the chances of a person getting skin cancer. Anyone that has a fair complexion, family history of skin cancer, suffered severe sunburns as a child and/or have more than 40 moles on their body should consider having the moles mapped.
This "mapping" is simply a chart your dermatologist makes of the moles on your body. Over the years this map will make it easier to spot any changes in the moles. Be sure to have a dermatologist do the mapping though as one study found that primary care doctors often miss the danger signs that moles can give. One should consider seeing a dermatologist or health care professional about once a year to have their back and scalp checked for skin cancer since these are difficult or impossible for one to check on himself.
Q What can cause nasal polyps, and is there a way to get rid of them once they appear?
A Excessive swelling of the mucous membranes lining the sinuses causes nasal polyps. These polyps are benign growths and can appear singly or in clusters. Nasal membrane inflammation or chronic rhinitis is frequently due to allergies and sometimes treated with inhaled corticosteroid sprays, This condition, combined with the use of these sprays, is often the source of nasal polyps.
If the polyps become enlarged they can obstruct ones air flow as well as his sense of smell and have also been known to cause chronic headaches. Any growth that bleeds, appears in only one side of the Post or grows rapidly may indicate a benign or malignant tumor that requires an evaluation by an otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doctor).
Q Once summer arrives my family enjoys being in the outdoors as much as possible. What kind of sunglasses should we look for to offer our eyes the best protection from the sun?
A Look for sunglasses with labels that state they shield 100 percent of the ultraviolet A and B rays since both rays have been linked to cataracts and other diseases. If a label reads "UV absorption up to 400 nm" this means that the sunglasses offer this protection. The FDA does not monitor sunglasses so in order to be sure the sunglasses you decide to purchase do actually offer this protection you can have them tested with a UV meter.
Most opticians and some sunglasses specialty shops often offer this test as a free service. It is important that the sunglasses fit your face. The frames should fit close to your brow and cheekbones and should not slide down the bridge of your nose. The decision between plastic or glass lenses is left up to the buyer but should be a consideration depending on the activities you will be partaking in during these months. Just remember that although inexpensive plastic lenses are easy to scratch they are less likely to shatter.